Part II: Understanding Attention Issues in Teenagers – and What You Can Do To Help 

In Part I of this post, we looked at why attention drifts so easily in today’s world. We learned that sometimes we choose what to pay attention to (top-down), and sometimes some things grab our attention so forcefully that the choice is made for us (bottom-up). We also saw why smartphones are the biggest hijackers of all: they combine every trigger our brain is sensitive to, all at once. 

And we ended with this thought: telling your teen to “Just Focus” is like telling a calculator with a weak battery to “Just Work”. First, we need to fix the hijack. Only then does your child’s focus and attention stand a real fighting chance to improve. But how do we do that?  

In this post, we share 9 things you can do as a parent to help improve your teen’s attention. 

Before we begin: remember, you don’t need to do all 9 at once. Pick one or two that feel doable for your home situation and just start. 

1. Delay the smartphone for as long as you can 

The fewer hijackers your teen has to fight, the more attention they will have left for the important stuff. 

As we saw in Part I, a smartphone or device (e.g. tablet) is the most powerful hijacker of all. And the simplest way to reduce its pull is to delay giving it to your child. 

What if your child already has a phone? Most teenagers do, and that’s okay.  

You can still delay the hijack in other ways. Here are some examples: 

1. Delay social media accounts 

2. Delay phone in the bedroom, especially at night 

3. Delay phone at the study table 

2. Use parental controls with them and NOT on them 

Both iPhones and Android phones let you manage your child’s screen time. You can set time limits on apps, schedule downtime at night and control which apps get downloaded. Parental controls are useful. But how you use them matters immensely. 

Research on family media rules suggests that rules which are explained and agreed upon tend to work better than rules that are simply imposed. When teenagers feel that their voice is considered in decisions that affect them directly, they tend to show higher ownership. On the other hand, if they feel overly controlled, they try to (and often succeed) at finding workarounds. 

So, here’s how we recommend you do this bit: sit down with your teen and decide together, 

1. Which apps need a daily limit? 

2. What hours should the phone be off-limits? 

3. Which notifications can be switched off completely? 

That last one is powerful. Remember bottom-up attention from Part I? Every notification is a tap on the shoulder. Fewer notifications mean fewer hijacks. 

3. Build a relationship where they tell you when something is wrong 

Not all attention hijackers live inside a screen. If you remember, in Part I, we discussed how a friend who has suddenly stopped talking to your child can consume all their attention. Or it could be a family feud they’ve been dragged into. Or it could be a scolding from their teacher that they felt humiliated by. No parental control can block these. You won’t even find out about them unless your teen tells you. But here’s the catch: your child has to decide to tell you. How do you think a teenager decides what they should and should not tell their parents? 

Here’s what research tells us: parents usually know what’s happening in their teen’s life not because they check or question, but because their teen chooses to share. And teens share when sharing feels safe.  

How safe do you think your child feels with you to share what’s happening in their life, say on a scale of 0-10 (10 being extremely safe)? If you scored yourself anything less than a 6, here are a few tips to keep in mind for your next conversation with your child: 

1. Listen first, react later. Don’t rush to fix every problem they bring to you; they are more capable than we often give them credit for. 

2. Use low-pressure moments like a car ride or an evening walk to build trust and connection

3. Don’t punish honesty. If every confession ends with the phone being taken away, the confessions will stop 

4. Protect their sleep 

Even with every hijacker removed, a calculator with a weak battery still won’t work well. The same is true for your teen’s brain. While working to remove the attention hijackers, you need to also support them in recharging their energy – without which they will struggle to pay attention to any task. The basic fix is simple: a good night’s sleep.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 8 to 10 hours of sleep a night for teenagers aged 13 to 18. But most teens get far less. The reason is partly biological: during puberty, the body clock shifts later. That’s why teenagers often stay up past their bedtimes, it isn’t always that they are being stubborn. Their body sometimes genuinely isn’t ready. But school starts early, which means that your child is likely losing out on precious sleep hours, almost daily. 

What can help: 

1. Keep wake-up time consistent (yes, even on weekends)

2. Build a wind-down routine for the last 30 minutes before bed (e.g. dinner –> brush–> quick shower –> bed) 

3. Keep phone and all devices outside the bedroom at night 

5. Get them sunlight everyday 

Our body clock is set mainly by light, and morning sunlight is the strongest signal of them all. Getting sunlight around the same time every morning helps their body clock get into a rhythm. This helps them sleep better. Better sleep, better attention. 

Help your teen get outdoors for some time in the morning, ideally within the first hour or two of waking. A walk to the bus stop, breakfast on the balcony or a few minutes on the terrace- they all count. Even on a cloudy day, outdoor light is much brighter than indoor light. 

If you are living in a city, on high-pollution days, sitting next to a bright window is a reasonable backup, though obviously not the same as being outside. 

6. Get them moving 

Exercise doesn’t just help the body. Studies with children and teenagers show that even a single session of around 20 minutes of moderate exercise, like brisk walking, can sharpen attention for a while afterwards. Regular physical activity, over time, is linked to better self-control too.

What movement for your teen can look like: 

1. A short movement break between study sessions (e.g. 10 jumping jacks, playing with pets)

2. Joining (and regularly participating!) in a sport or dance class they enjoy 

3. Skipping or a home workout on days when stepping out isn’t possible 

7. Get them to hang out with their friends in person 

Remember the triggers from Part I? One of them was ‘comparison to others’. This is a particularly big one for teenagers. The teenage brain is highly susceptible to social anxiety. In other words, they care too much about what their peers think. 

Social media offers them the social validation and connection that they crave, but it unfortunately comes in a package designed to keep the user scrolling – which like we just discussed, disrupts capacity to focus and pay attention. In-person time with friends, on the other hand, meets the same need without your child falling into a bottomless scrolling pit. Plus, every hour with friends is an hour away from the screen. 

Make it easy for them to hang with their friends. Offer your home as the hangout spot, help with pick-ups and drops, and treat time with friends as something valuable, not something that always distracts them from their studies. 

8. Teach your child how their brain works 

Removing the hijackers, fixing sleep and exercise etc. set the stage. But managing attention is ultimately a skill, and skills need to be both learned and practised. 

“Do it because I know what’s good for you” rarely works with teenagers. Research by psychologist David Yeager and his colleagues shows why: teens push back against messages that feel like being talked down to. They respond much better to messages that respect their independence. 

Here’s an example to help you understand this better: a bunch of eighth graders learnt how junk food companies manipulate people through misleading advertisements and deceptive labels. The next day, these students made healthier snack choices than students who had received regular health lessons. Nobody told these kids what to eat. They simply didn’t want to be played. 

The same idea works for attention. Instead of saying “Put your phone down”, try: 

1. Showing them the list of triggers from Part I and asking which ones they notice in their favourite apps 

2. Asking: “Who do you think benefits when you keep scrolling?” 

3. Looking at their screen time report together, with curiosity rather than judgement 

When teens understand that their attention is being captured against their will by social media and gaming companies, protecting their focus becomes their own idea, not yours. 

9. Get them an execution coach 

Knowing how attention works is the first step. Actually managing it, day after day, is another thing altogether. That takes practice, feedback and someone to keep them going. 

A coach sits outside the parent-teen relationship, so suggestions don’t come with the usual baggage of “you’re only saying this because you’re my parent”. A good coach helps your teen turn what they know into small daily actions and adapt on the go. 

At Kazivu, this is exactly what we do. In our Focus program, teens start with the foundations: sleep, exercise, screen time, sun exposure and how distraction works in the brain. They then pick one area and work on it every week with their coach. In our Deep program, teens go further, with attention training and building up to 60 minutes of focused work at a stretch. 

If you’d like to explore execution coaching for your child, you can book a call with us using this link.

Final thoughts 

Your teen’s attention can be won back. Not by telling them to “Just Focus”, but by removing the hijackers, recharging their energy and building the skills that will help them focus on the goals that matter to them.  

You don’t have to do it all at once. Read through the 9 things once again. Pick one that feels easiest to you right now. Start with that. And then just focus on getting that right, consistently. Your teen’s focus will soon follow suit.