Is there a right age to give your child a smartphone?
The short answer is yes. You most definitely don’t want to give a smartphone to a child below 6 years old. In fact the older your child is when they get their first smartphone, the better it is for their mental and physical health.
In the long answer, I will tell you why.
I. What makes smartphones harmful to your child?
Excessive smartphone use can be harmful to everybody but they are especially harmful to children. Here are 6 of many reasons:
- Smart devices are filled with sources of cheap dopamine
Dopamine is a molecule in our body that is responsible for motivation (among other things). Dopamine is what makes your child want to study or play or clean up their room.
Certain activities replenish your child’s dopamine system e.g. playing football, painting, spending time with family. Certain other activities drain them of dopamine and with it, their motivation to do any work that requires effort. Smartphones and tablets are filled with Youtube, Whatsapp, Snapchat, Instagram, video games – all of these put your child in a space of severe dopamine depletion.
- Smartphones overstimulate your child’s brain
Your child’s brain has a zone of optimal stimulation. Too little stimulation or too much stimulation – both are problematic. What this means is that developmentally, it is important to introduce them to new experiences and sensations without overloading them. But smartphones overstimulate your child’s brain making it difficult for them to process the information that comes their way and leaves them feeling overwhelmed.
- Long hours spent on smartphone leads to poor attention and focus
Because smartphones overstimulates your child’s brain and overloads it cognitively, they find it hard to focus and stay attentive to the task at hand. Children feel the need to switch from task to task every few minutes and end up not finishing any.
- Smartphones can make children avoidant or anxious
There is increasing evidence that shows that smartphone usage is linked with mental health distress that can increase anxious and avoidant behaviour in children. Too much screen time puts your child in a state of limbo where they want to keep scrolling and avoid dealing with reality.
- Smartphones can affect your child’s social skills
Children learn how to socialise by, well, socialising. They need to be out and meeting people of their age at school, on the playground, at family events, birthday parties. They need to play, learn how to follow rules, bear the consequences of deviant behaviour, make friends, earn trust, experience failure. If a child is holed up in their room and glued to their screens, they are missing out on critical social experiences that will teach them how to navigate the real world where there are real people.
- Smartphones will lead to reduced physical activity
Time that your child is spending on their phones and laptops is time that they are spending not exercising or playing or sleeping well. Physical activity is one the cornerstones of mental health. Against this, it is not surprising that smartphone usage is linked with obesity in children.
II. How to regulate smartphone usage in children
- Limit no. of hours of use
If you do not want to refuse your child’s wishes to own or use a smartphone, you may then want to consider placing appropriate limits. The American Academy Of Pediatrics warns against any media usage for children below 18 months except for video chatting. For children between 2-5 years, 1 hour of screen time is the recommended limit.
For older children (more than 6 years old), the guidelines are more flexible but this is mostly because of the advent of online schooling since the COVID-19 pandemic. At the least, parents may want to ensure that their children’s screen time does not interfere with their sleep, exercise and their general health.
- Talk to your child about the harmful effects of excessive smartphone use
Educate your child about the downsides of too much screen time. Share with them the rationale behind the restrictions you have placed on their use of smartphones. Effectively communicating to your child the reasons behind their screen limits e.g. how screen time at night affects sleep quality, increases obesity etc. might result in better compliance and less resistance from them.
- Model healthy screen use behaviour
Children learn by imitation (among other methods). As a parent, if you are constantly on your phone during mealtimes or while driving your children to school instead of being present with your family, your children will pick that behaviour up. Ensure that you follow the rules that you are trying to enforce in your household.
- Establish rules around content and institute accountability checks
Set clear, specific and concrete online content rules for your children including which channels are off-limits for them. Install appropriate blockers on their devices. Discuss with your child and put an accountability system in place e.g. tracking time spent across apps, asking them to use their laptop such that the screen faces you (as opposed to the wall), co-viewing content with them to ensure its age appropriateness etc.
A word from Kazivu
We live in a digital world filled with devices that meet so many of our needs – entertainment, work, education, connections, networks and pretty much everything else. Our children’s worlds are also increasingly becoming digital. They use their smartphones and laptops to study, to watch movies and shows, to talk to their friends, to read books, to play games, to have fun.
To deprive them of screen time that they so strongly desire might be a difficult decision to make as a parent. Your child may resist the limits that you place and protest in ways that might leave you feeling confused and disconcerted. A way to ground yourself in the internal confusion and external chaos that may follow when you place screen restrictions on your child is to remind yourself of the long term benefits that they will gain from decreased smartphone use. Though they may not agree with you right now, you are contributing to helping your child grow into a more healthy adult (both physically and mentally) and they will thank you for your smartphone austerity some day. And even if they don’t, you will still have no regrets.
